Sex Q& A: Ingin Nonton Film Erotis berdua Istri

Gnw, Indonesia

Saya seorang pria dan telah menikah. Saya mempunyai kebiasaaan menonton Film Erotis, karena saya percaya dengan menontonnya dapat menstimulasi gairah saya dalam bercinta. Kadang-kadang saya ingin mengajak istri saya untuk menontonnya dan siapa tahu kami dapat bercinta dengan lebih dahsyat. Tapi sayang, istri saya ogah-ogahan. Sebenarnya baik atau tidak sih dok, menonton film erotis sebelum bercinta? Dan bagaimana saya bisa membujuknya agar mau?

Dear Gnw,

Gnw.. yang hobi nonton BF tapi sayang istrinya nggak mau (atau mungkin malu-malu kucing?). Sering hal ini merupakan hal yang lumrah di Indonesia. Ini adalah produk dari seks edukasi yang salah. Biasanya orangtua itu takut terjadi 'kecelakaan' pada wanita, maka mereka berusaha menakut-nakuti wanita mengenai masalah-masalah seksual diharapkan dengan menakut-nakuti maka wanita akan menjauhi hubungan seks terutama sebelum menikah. Tapi hal yang sangat negatif dari cara ini adalah wanita jadi tidak bisa menikmati seksual seumur hidupnya karena terlalu didepresi, bila dia didepresi selama 10-15 tahun tentu tidak bisa merubahnya dalam 1-2 hari sehingga anda jangan takut ini sudah merupakan suatu kebiasaan bahwa wanita tidak senang nonton film erotis. Mereka bahkan juga tidak senang melakukan hal-hal yang berlebihan dalam hubungan seks. Karena mereka menganggap hal itu sebagai dosa, kotor, tabu dan membayangkan bahwa gerakan-gerakan seperti itu tidak layak buat wanita baik-baik dan hanya dilakukan oleh perempuan-perempuan 'nakal'. Jadi itu sudah suatu pola kepribadian. Nah sekarang bagaimana cara membujuknya? Anda musti merubahnya dengan perlahan-lahan dan sabar. Kalau anda cukup gigih maka saya kira lama-kelamaan pendirian istri anda akan dapat berubah.

Sex Q & A: Considering Having Sex

Dear Doctor,

i have liked this guy for a REALLY long time we have been together a couple times but we have not had sex. he would be my first if i did decide to have sex w/him. i have been considering it a lot lately. i am worried about the after days of having losing my vierginity. will i bleed? will i still be sore? will i walk funny? will my mom be able to tell just by looking at me? please respond as soon as possible before i make a mistake! thank you!

Dear Lind in USA,

To decide whether will you bleed or not in a sexual intercourse, it depends whether you had lost it or not before the intercourse because sometimes virginity can be lost by many things beside sexual relationship, such as excessive stretching of the thighs when you are doing sports.

Sometimes, when it bleeds, then it would be a little bit sore. Your mom or other people won’t be able to tell whether you are still a virgin or not just by looking at you.

Before you decide to have sex, you have to think to yourself about the risks of having sex before marriage. There are many risks you must consider, such as Pregnancy (are you ready to be a mother?), and sexual transmitted disease (Gonorrheae, Syphillis, Herpes, HIV/AIDS, etc).

I must say that the safest way of having sexual relationship, is by getting married before. Thank you

Sex Q & A: Could i get pregnant?

Dear Doctor,

I need to know: Could i get pregnant by transferation of sperm that went through my mouth, then we did french-kissing, and then his mouth goes to my vagina? thanks.

Dear Linda, in US

No, it is impossible to get pregnant, because in mouth there is an enzym, a protheolytic enzym which can kill protein such as sperms. This enzym is contained in our saliva. So, it is impossible or a little chance to get pregnant that way.

Sex Q & A: My lover can't ejaculate

Dear Doctor,

my 30 yr old lover has no problem staying hard for hours, even after ejaculation, his problem is that he wants to come over and over again, and we can't seem to get him to do this more than 3 times in a session--could be hours..he really wants to come often, and is very open to all aspects of sexual pleasure,,viagra and other male stimulants seem to just make him numb and unable to come at all,, is there anyway that would enable him to ejaculate more often,,as i said, staying hard and achieving erections are not a problem

Dear Sue,

As long as I know, the sexual performance of your 30 year old lover has already been in a very good condition or I can say he has very superb condition. If he can get up 3 times in a session and can stay for hours, then that’s already a very good / extraordinary performance for your lover.
I ‘m afraid we don’t have any drugs/methods to make people ejaculate very often. The ability to get erection and ejaculate is something which is born together with you, so it is an individual potency and cannot be changed by drugs or any methods. So, don’t worry just be happy with it, just remember that you had everything that has already been extraordinary in comparison to other people.
Maybe you can remind your lover and let him read Multiorgasmic Man book. In that book, Mantak Chia has stated that in Chinese custom, ejaculation is a waste of energy. So, Chinese (Taoist) tends to get many orgasm without ejaculation. According to him, that’s the healthiest thing. You can get many orgasm without having ejaculation.

Sex Q & A: HELP! I couldn't penetrate

Sugi, Indonesia:

Dear Doctor,

I have a problem with my wife. I have just been married about one month ago, but I couldn’t have been able to penetrate. I’ve tried any possible ways. For addition, my wife is 27 years old and her vagina is very tight. Sometimes my penis feels hurt when I try to penetrate. So please doc, explain me how to penetrate her.

Dear Sugi in Indonesia,

This is called Vaginismus and this happened when the women feels fear and she squeeze with her thigh so the vagina become so tight. Try to penetrate gradually. In the first time do not penetrate with your penis, just try by your little finger first. It will be better with lubrication liquid and do it slowly.

If your little finger succesfully penetrated, try with the bigger one. If your wife start to feel pleasure with your biggest finger, now you can try by inserting the penis slowly.

Sex Q & A: KB kalender, KB terbaik?

Agus, Indonesia:

Dokter,

Salam,

Saya seorang pria berumur 25 tahun. Saya pengantin baru, dan masih bereksperimen tentang cara-cara bersenggama yang baik,.. Nah

kami bersepakat untuk menunda kehadiran anak, sehingga kami kemungkinan besar akan ber KB, namun selama ini kami memiliki anggapan bahwa KB yang terbaik adalah melalui penanggalan.

Kemarin pada hari kedelapan setelah istri saya haid kami keterusan dan saya memuntahkan cairan semen saya di dalam,

Apakah hal ini akan mengakibatkan kehamilan, dan kalau iya apakah masih bisa dicegah, sebab kalau sang janin telah terbentuk kami tidak akan melakukan aborsi...

Demikian pertanyaan saya dok, terima kasih banyak sebelumnya atas tanggapannya...

Mas Agus yang jago komputer di Indonesia

Tidak betul bahwa KB penanggalan adalah metode KB yang terbaik. Jaman Baheula,.. kali! Teknologi sudah sedemikian canggih, orang sudah pakai internet segala, anda masih pake KB jaman baheula, ketinggalan jaman namanya.

Kalau KB penanggalan itu baik atau memuaskan maka kita tidak akan mencari metode-metode baru, logis kan? Kalau para ahli medis masih mencari metode KB yang baru terus, maka itu berarti metode KB yang ada selama ini belum cukup memuaskan, apalagi KB dari jaman ratusan tahun yang lalu.

Anda mengatakan sudah kebablasan memuntahkan sperma di dalam vagina istri. Ya.. ini masalahnya, ini tentu bisa menimbulkan kehamilan. Kalau sudah terjadi pembuahan di dalam, maka ini sudah tidak bisa dicegah. Kurang lebih 13 hari sebelum haid yang akan datang (1-3 hari setelah senggama) akan terjadi pembuahan dan sudah terbentuk janin (modiga). Memang belum bisa terlihat tapi janin itu sudah ada.

Tips: Guide to Contraception Methods

There are two important reasons for choosing a contraception method. Usually patient choose a contraception which have less side-effect. Side-effects of using contraception are such as becoming fat, thin, got a headache and etc. These side-effects can happen to everyone but with less possibility which is about 2 - 3 %. There are some contraception methods such as sterilization, contraception pills, injection, IUD, contraception barrier method, another method and calendar method.

The Rank of Failure Ratio of Contraception Methods sorted from less failure ratio to high failure ratio as below:

1. Sterilization.

This method have the least side-effect. The failure ratio of sterilization is about 2 - 6/100. 000 patient in a year.
Sterilization on women is usually called MOW ( medis operatif wanita ) or tubectomy and on men is called MOP (medis operatif pria ) or vasectomy.
Sterilization on men is done by making a blockage on the vasdeferens. By doing this, sperm route to the ovum is blocked, so the sperm won't be able to reach the ovum. Women and men can use this method. The blockage process is done outside the testicles so sterilization won't have a dangerous side-effect and safer.

2. Contraception pills.

Contraception Pills contain normal hormone in the women's body and this hormon make the condition of women's body similar to the condition of pregnancy. The failure ratio of contraception pills is about 1%.
Pills method is intended for a neat person and someone who have a good memory.
Patient must eat the pill regularly in order to make it work. There are many kind of pills such as pills which produced by BKBN, it's very cheap, pills with blue and gold square (lingkaran biru and emas) which is subsidized by the state, or pills with less doses and it's expensive. Don't use pills if the woman had abnormal bleeding. Someone who have a varices is also not permitted to use these pill because contraception pills can disturb the cycle of blood.

3. Injection.

There are many period of injection such as 1 month, 2 month or 3 month.
Injection also contains sexual hormone of a woman, so it will disturb the cycle of menstruation but don't worry about that. Usually a woman thinks that menstruation blood is a dirty blood so she thinks that irregular menstruation can have bad effects or psychomatic disease such as headache.

4. IUD

IUD is similar to injection but have longer period of time.
The period is about 1 year until 3 years. IUD is done by inserting a cylastic tube into the uterus. A cylastic tube must be taken out if the period is over. The side-effects of IUD is similar to the side-effects of injection.

5. Contraception barrier method (condoms or diaphragms)

The failure ratio of contraception barrier method is about 3 - 30 %.
Condoms can be used for variations in sexual performance and can prevent sexual transmitted diseases. There are many kinds of condom. There is a condom which have texture for sexual variations or there is a condom which can be used as the extension of a penis.
Diaphragm is a round elastic rubber which is inserted inside the vagina to prevent sperm from getting in the uterus.

6. Another method

Another method is using spermicyde to kill sperm so it can't fertilize the ovum. A spermicyde is chemical substance which can kill sperm. Women can use a vagina tablet, which have function similar to the function of a spermicyde.

7. Calendar method

This method have the biggest failure ratio. The manner of this method is by paying attention to the cycle of menstruation and the end of fertile period. Sometimes this method is used together with condom's method. Condom is used during the fertile period and calendar method is used during the infertile period. Calender method is intended for a woman who have a regular menstruation.