Sex Q & A: I often cannot reach satisfaction, Is there something wrong with me?

Uci, Indonesia:

Dear Doctor,

In our sexual life, I can get orgasm easily sometimes, but I often cannot reach it. Is there something wrong with me, doc? Does each woman have different easiness in orgasm? I have a friend who told me that she can reach it very easy. How could it be doctor?

Dear Uci in Indonesia,

You're right that women have different experience toward orgasm. Some of them can reach orgasm easily, but some of them cannot. This can be caused by many things. One of them is that each woman has different stimulating spots on her body. The most stimulating spot on women is around clitoris. You know clitoris is located at the top of vagina. It is located on the upper conjunction of labium minora. Clitoris is quite the same as penis in man. It is the area which consists of many blood-vessels that usually can bring abundant sexual stimulation. This would make women easy to reach orgasm. But there are many other spots beside clitoris.

There are areas around vagina that can bring sexual stimulation. First, there is U-Spot (Urinary Spot), located about 1 cm down from the urethra. Try to stimulate this area by pressing or rubbing it. Sometimes you can do it using your husband's penis or by finger.

Then, on the base of vagina there is the S-Point (Stretch Point). Right under the Perinium, try to stretch it left or right by your fingers. This spot can bring much stimulation to most women. The last spot is called as G-Spot. G-Spot is located on the upper wall inside the vagina. If you touch the upper wall of vagina by finger after you passed the urethra, go inside about 1-2 cm. You'll found a bone that is called 'pubic bone'. G-Spot is located on the back of pubic bone. Of course you can reach it by fingers only because it's very hard to reach it by penis, except if your husband have tilted-up penis. G-Spot can also be reached if the penis is aimed to the upper wall of the vagina.

You said that you can get orgasm sometimes. I suggest you to pay attention on what position, what kind of activity in your sexual intercourse that can make you reach orgasm. Also, Pay attention on the stimulating spot and how to stimulate it. If your friends said that she can reach orgasm easily, maybe that's because they've known each other very well. Her husband can make her reach orgasm easily because he really knows how to stimulate his wife. I hope you understand it.

So i suggest you to make a map of your body. All sides, the front and the back side of your body. Try to stimulate a spot and give it a point. Ranges from +1 to +3. 1 point means that this spot has sexual stimulation, 2 has more sexual stimulation, and 3 has the most sexual stimulation. So, when you are having sex with your husband, you can stimulate it effectively to help you reach orgasm easily.