Sex Q & A: My husband penis is tilted down, is it normal?

Ss, Indonesia:

Dear Doctor,

I'm a 35 year-old married woman. So far, we had good sexual relationship. But, as I take a good look, why is that he doesn't have full erection? It's completely different from what I see in the movie that usually penis is tilted up but my husband's is tilted down. Is there any medication to cure him?

Dearest Ss in Indonesia

You are already married and have a good sexual relationship. Your question is that why can't your husband's penis get full erection, different from what you see in the movies that men always have full, and tilted up erection.

If your husband has tilted down but hard erection, it just a matter of position. Each man has different erection angle. Some goes up, some goes down, even a little bit right or left. Sometime, a few men used to bend their penis down, so this will affect his penis too.

The main problem is at the hardness of the erection. If he has weak erection then I'm sure there's a problem. But we have to see whether it is a psychological or anatomical problem. If it can't get hard enough then you should pay attention whether there's difference between the morning erection or the pre-intercourse erection. If in the morning erection is hard and weak during sexual intercourse, then there must be a psychological problem, you should consult to psychologist. But if both are weak then I suggest you should visit a urologist.

Sex Q & A: By doing petting, can it result to Pregnancy?

Alx, Indonesia:

Dear Doctor, I am a 20 year-old boy. I have a girlfriend who is also 20 years old. We often release our passions by kissing and caressing each other. One day, we did something that looks like having a sex. We did it on bed and rub each others groin, but we're not naked, we still have our clothes on instead. And then, I reach a climax and ejaculate in my underwear. What i want to ask you is, can my girlfriend get pregnant if we did something like that?

Dear Alx,

Please be careful in your love life. You have reached the third step in a sexual relationship with your girlfriend. You have done kissing, necking and petting. Kissing is a passionate kiss, Necking is to seduce the neck area or to kiss one's neck deeply. And Petting is to seduce each other's sexual organ but no intercourse.

Doing Petting with all your clothes on still provide a chance of getting pregnant. We all know that spermatozoids swim like fish when they are in liquid medium. When a woman is in the arousal state, the vagina area is getting wet then can also wetten her trousers/shorts. Spermatozoids which is ejaculated into your underwear can swim through your clothes' pore and go through inside the vagina.

Someone has reported in a radio-broadcast session "BUKA PINTU" in 106,85 MHz "MARA FM" radio station, Bandung, (maybe you have heard it before), that doing Petting, even when you are wearing a Blue Jeans, can also result pregnancy. Well, I hope this won't happen to you

Sex Q & A: Where is G-Spot located?

Pri, Indonesia:

Dear Doctor,

I’m a 28 year-old man and will be married soon. I’d like to know, where is the exact location of G-Spot and how can I stimulate it?

Dear Pri in Indonesia,

Thank you for your question, so you are asking about about G-SPOT. O.k. let’s see. G-SPOT is an area that is reported as an area which have a lot of nerves and this can brings much sexual stimulation to women or men.

In women, G-Spot is located in vagina, on the upper wall about 3-4 cm from the opening, right on the back of the pubic bone. Then, how can you reach it? You can try to reach it manually by your fingers because it is very hard to reach it by your penis. Manually you can follow the upper wall of her vagina start from the back of clitoris then go inside following the urethra and follow down till you reach the pubic bone and in the back of that pubic bone is the G-Spot.

In men, reported by dr. Man Tak Chia, G-Spot is located between anus and the base of testicles.

Sex Q & A: I have problem getting satisfaction from the one i love

N_Vos, USA:

Dear Doctor, I have a strange problem. I am 18 years old, and had my first sexual experience 2 years ago. It was with my girlfriend, who i cared about. I consider myself oversexed, having started masturbationg at the age of 9. i have many fantasies, usually involving somone i don;t know, or barely know. MY problem, is that i have trouble getting a lot of pleasure from a girl that i love or care about. I have yet to cum with one of my girlfriends, but i had sex with my married next door neighbor, and it was great. But with my girlfriend that i love it is difficult.

Dearest N_Vos, USA

Your problem is not too strange - You started masturbation at the age of 9 that was a little bit early I guess, but not really abnormal ,13 % boys start doing masturbation at the age of 10.

You are not really oversexed , your tension is high due to hormonal instability of your body , soon it will be normal again in your twenties. This is the cause of all your fantasies too.

About your problem, that you get more pleasure making love with your married next-door neighbor than the girl you loved, was really understandable because your girlfriend has no experience in making love and was really afraid to do so, in contrary your mature neighbor enjoys it.

Sex Q & A: We usually had sex 3 - 4 times daily, My wife can't keep up, please help!

Yuzz, Malaysia:

Dear Doctor,

Thank you for your time to have discussion with me. I have been married about 2 years ago. The problem is that i want frequent sex with my wife. This is because i have a strong desire to have sex. We usually do this 3-4 times a day. Because of that, my wife told me that she often feel very tired. We have had a big fight once because i often want frequent sex. Is there any way for me to co-op with this problem? Please help me doctor, i'm really nervous about this problem. That's for now. I hope that you can help me to gain happiness in my family. For your information i have 5 feets, 8 inches height and 144 pound weight.

Dearest Yuzz in Malaysia

Well, as i said before that marriage is like unplugging a watertank. Sexual desire which is forbidden before married by religion, is released after you two get married. It is understandable that the opening of forbidden value is becoming an flood in the early years/months of your marriage. The several arousal is very enormous.

You can perform sex 3-4 times a day. Actually 3-4 times is still normal because some of the people do this 10-12 times a day, even sometimes 20 times in the day and night. That's why we know as newly wed goes for honeymoon after wedding. They go to a far, isolated place just to prevent them from disturbance. This way they can have sex as often as they want. This overwhelmed desire can be loosen to a normal frequency in the following years. It is recommended for the married couple, not to have a baby too soon and can have sex as frequent as they want. So, please use contraception in the 3-6 early months of your marriage, if it's going to normal slope then you can get pregnant if you want.

A normal sex frequency is very relative. It is influenced by many things. The First thing is husband and wife's sexual desire. The second thing is how good your sexual cooperation with your wife. A bad sexual cooperation can lead into a bad sexual quality. A good sexual quality has to be enjoyed by both sides. Don't do masturbation in your marriage. What i mean about masturbation in this term is that a husband who doesn't care about his wife's sexual satisfaction. A good cooperation also needs the same sexual preference. If both sides agree about a sexual position then it can be enjoyed by both sides. But, if there's one of you disagree about a sexual preference then one of you can't enjoy this sexual activity. This is a bad sexual quality.

So, the conclusion is that sexual frequency depends on how good is the quality of your sex life. If your sex life is good, of course there isn't any problems to have a frequent sexual activity. Try to talk gently with your wife and ask her about things she doesn't like in your sexual activity and also the things she likes. This way i hope can help you enhance your sex life quality and brings happiness to your family.

Is it True? Masturbation can result into impotency or premature ejaculation

Masturbating too often can result into impotency. Is it True?

A myth that says, "masturbating too often can result into impotency or premature ejaculation".
Actually there’s no physical causes that masturbating can result into impotency/premature ejaculation. If there is an impact on sexual function caused by masturbating, it will be just because of psychological factor. Maybe there’s a guilty feeling that causes erectile function on men. So, there’s no physical connection on masturbating and disfunction of sexual organs.

Sex Q&A: My Husband lose his erection everytime he uses a condom

Hn, Indonesia:

Dear Doctor,

I’m a 32 year-old woman, married and already have two kids. We were planning not to have more child, and we’ve tried using condom and calendar system for contraception. The problem is, my husband’s penis always lose its erection everytime he uses condom. Is there any side-effects on condom? I’m afraid that if we stop using condoms, I will get pregnant again. It is not healthy for woman at my age is it? Thank you!

Dear Mrs. Hn in Indonesia,

You have planned not to have child anymore, well, that’s a good idea. It shows that you already have wide knowledge and you have also understand health very well. You told that you are tired of using condoms for contraception. Your problem is that everytime your husband use condom his penis loses its erection. That’s absolutely not the side-effect of condoms. I think it is about psychological matter. He may feel less enjoyable if using condom. As we know, sometimes they put some additive or substance that can reduce the penis sensitivity (we know it as the "long life" condoms). If your husband use these condoms, it may not be easy for him to get an erection because they reduce his pleasure.

The use of condoms or drugs to have a long sexual performance is intended only for woman’s pleasure. Then, if a woman can get her pleasure, psychologically we hope that it also happens to her partner. By seeing her partner/wife enjoys it so much then it will trigger confidence and sensation to a man. Physical pleasure or orgasm can only be reached if he had put off the condom and ejaculated. That’s what you have to tell your husband about.

A second possibility is that the condom maybe too small for your husband’s penis (we know that condom has various sizes). This can cause pain to your husband’s penis instead. Another possibility is that if your husband’s penis is too short then the base of the condom will stay in roll. This can also cause pain to your husband’s penis, so he might lose his erection.

There’s one advice from me. If you really intend to stop having a child, then stop using condoms for contraception. We know that condom could also fail to stop pregnancy and statistically, the rate is quite high. If you feel enough with two kids already, then try another method of contraception such as diapraghm, or you can also try sterilization for much safer method.

Sex Q & A: I didn't bleed on my first time..

Ani, Indonesia:

Dear Doctor,

I'm a 26 year-old woman and have just been married. Right now, I have a big problem. I did not bleed after first penetration on my wedding night. My husband suspected that i have had sexual relationship with another man before married. I sweared that i have never had sex before, doc. I've ever heard that there's kind of hymen which woouldn't break even if it is penetrated by penis, is it true doc? If it's true how can we check it whether it is classified into that group? Please I need your answer, I have trouble to explain it to my husband.

Dear Mrs. Ani in Indonesia,

You've just been married and had a big problem that you did not bleed after the first penetration on your wedding night. And then your husband suspected that you had slept with another man before, and that you have to swear to defend yourself. Your question is, how to check that your hymen whether it is still intact or not. Well, of course every gynaecologist can check it. The problem is, gynaecologist won't be able to tell you whether the hymen is broken by sexual intercourse or by some accidents such as intense sport activities or severe trauma.

I think it's better to let a gynaecologist explain it to your husband, and not you. Maybe you can explain it to a gynaecologist who can understand your problem and want to help you. In modern life, hymen is not always be broken by first penetration. If the hymen is not elastic enough then it will be broken during sport which require extreme movement.

So, if your husband want to have a 100% virgin woman, maybe he should marry a traditional woman who always wear "kebaya". They should be still 100% virgin because they cannot move freely with that kind of clothes.

What Men always worried about virginity is that women usually have deep feeling with a man with whom she get her first sex-experience. You know that to women, first impression couldn't easiliy be removed from their memory. So if you already have good impression about your first sexual experience with another man, it could endanger your marriage if conflict occured. I hope it's clear enough. I suggest that both of you visit a gynaecologist who can help you and really want to help you.

Is it True that Women will feel more satisfied if sexual intercourse is done in longer time.

Women will feel more satisfied if sexual intercourse is done in longer time. Is it True?

Women will get more satisfaction if sexual intercourse is being performed longer. This is only a myth because not all women likes sex that performed too long. Longer time sometimes needed to give woman a chance to have orgasm first. As we know before, women needs more time than men to have orgasm.

According to Prof. Master & Johnson, men only needs 2-5 minutes to get orgasm, but in women, they need 10-20 minutes before orgasm. So, I think it's clear that if sexual activity is performed below 10 minutes, it is very hard for women to reach orgasm. Longer time in sexual activity has also possibilities of unpleasancy for women.

If sexual activity that performed longer than usual and accompanied by woman's multiple orgasm, it would give a woman more satisfactory feeling. But if this woman can't reach orgasm in this sexual activity, this would lead into torture on woman. We know that longer sexual activity requires good lubrication on vagina. Lubrication on women could only happen if they had enough sexual arousal.

So, if this long trip to heaven couldn't give woman orgasm, there will be no lubrication and her vagina will be dried of this activity. Her vagina can get bruises and sometimes get bleeding. Of course this is a torture to a woman.

Sex Q & A: "How long will it take normally until a man ejaculate?"

Nle, Malaysia:

Dear Doctor,

I just wonder how long normally a sexual intercourse will last from the moment of inserting the penis into the vagina until the man come? Roughly how many stroke it take before a man come?

Dearest Nle,

According to DR Master & DR Johnson , USA, normally ejaculation will happen 4 minutes after intermission in male (2 to 5 minutes). About how many strokes depends on the class you played, are you in the class of Pete Samprass or rather slow as Agassi. :)

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